Stressful moments in a shared house
While share houses have benefits such as low rent and easy interaction, there are also many stressful situations that are unique to communal living. In particular, friction caused by differences in lifestyles and values is often a cause of stress. Below, we will explain in detail the specific situations that often cause stress in share houses.
Also, if you want to know real stories of share house life and "share house common things," please refer to "Share House Common Things!? A Must-Read for Those Considering a Share House!" By learning about real-life problems that are likely to occur and experiences unique to share houses, you should be able to see what you should be careful of before moving in.
Noise issues
Noise is one of the most stressful things for many people living in a shared house. The following situations in particular tend to be problematic:
I am bothered by the sounds of other residents talking and the TV
In shared houses, the walls are often thin, and you may be bothered by the sounds of people talking or the TV in the living room or next door. If other residents are talking late at night or early in the morning, it can be stressful and keep you from sleeping.
Early morning and late night noises cause stress
Since residents have different lifestyles, some people get up early in the morning to go to work and others come home late at night, and the sounds of doors opening and closing and footsteps can be a nuisance. Another common problem is the sound of the kitchen or shower running late at night.
Shared space issues
In a shared house, multiple people share spaces such as the kitchen, bathroom, and living room, so differences in lifestyle habits can lead to stress.
Dirty kitchen and bathroom
People have different standards for cleanliness in shared spaces, so if one resident doesn't clean the sink or stove after cooking, it can be frustrating for other residents. Hair and limescale left behind in the bathroom is also a common problem.
I get annoyed when people don't clean up
If residents leave their belongings in shared spaces or leave washed dishes lying around, other residents end up having to clean up, which can lead to frustration.
It's hard to wait in line for showers and washing machines
In shared houses with many residents, showers and washing machines are often used at peak times in the morning and evening, and people are likely to have to wait in line.
If residents occupy the property for long periods of time, they may not be able to get ready on time, which can disrupt their daily rhythm.
However, the shared spaces offer unique enjoyment that only a shared house can offer, so depending on how you use them you can live a more comfortable life.
For example, by making good use of the living room and kitchen, it is possible to deepen interactions between residents and create a comfortable environment.
If you want to know tips on how to use and enjoy the common spaces in a share house comfortably, please refer to "How to use and enjoy the common spaces in a share house" . By being creative in how you use the shared spaces, you can get hints on how to live a comfortable share house life while reducing stress.
Lack of privacy
Even if a shared house provides private rooms, they are not completely private spaces and it can be difficult to ensure privacy.
The private room is small and uncomfortable
Private rooms in a shared house are often smaller than one-room apartments, so it can be difficult for people with a lot of luggage to create a comfortable space.
Always face someone in a shared space
When using shared spaces such as the living room or kitchen, you will inevitably come face to face with other residents. This can be a major source of stress for people who are not good at socializing or who value their time alone.
Often interfered with by other residents
If some residents are too friendly, they may constantly ask you what you're doing or visit your room. On the other hand, if you want to keep your distance and they force you to interact with them, you may feel suffocated.
Relationship troubles
Living together with others means that relationships with others are unavoidable. Differences in compatibility and personalities between residents can cause stress.
Poor relationship with residents
Living with someone who has very different values and lifestyles can easily irritate you over small things. For example, living with someone who cleans up properly and someone who never tidies up can easily cause trouble.
Being caught up in a clique or group
In a shared house, while it is easy for residents to develop strong friendships with each other, it is also possible that some residents will be left out or that factions will form. Sometimes only certain residents will gather together and do things, leaving other residents isolated, which can be a hassle to have to be careful about.
Some people are too familiar with each other and it's hard to know how to keep a distance
Some people can be too friendly or interfere too frequently even when you first meet them. Even if you want to keep a reasonable distance, it can be tiring if they talk to you every time or invite you out to dinner or other outings.
Violation of rules and etiquette issues
Although there are rules for communal living in a shared house, it can be stressful when some residents don't follow them.
People use other people's things without permission in shared spaces
Foodstuffs stored in the refrigerator, kitchen utensils, detergents, etc. may be used without permission. In particular, they often use things without permission, thinking "it's okay if it's just a little bit," which makes many people feel uncomfortable.
There are people who don't take out the trash or clean up after their turn.
In shared houses, cleaning and trash taking out duties are often decided, but if some residents do not follow these rules, the burden will be placed on only a few residents. When there is an atmosphere of "whoever does it loses," resentment can easily build up.
Some residents are loud and noisy late at night.
If someone invites friends over and makes a lot of noise until late at night, or if someone is talking loudly on the phone, other residents may not get enough sleep. In particular, in international share houses, there are many people with different lifestyles, and this can easily lead to trouble.
How to cope with stress in a share house
Living in a shared house can bring about stress that is unique to communal living. However, if you practice appropriate coping methods, you can minimize stress and live comfortably. Here, we will explain in detail the specific ways to deal with stress when you feel it.
Make time for yourself
In a share house, you are always with other people, so there is little time to be alone and it is difficult to secure privacy, which can cause stress. Therefore, it is important to find ways to secure time for yourself.
① Use earphones to block out noise
If you are bothered by noise, you can use noise-canceling earphones or earplugs to avoid being distracted by the sounds around you.
It is especially effective when you are bothered by voices, television sounds, footsteps, etc. coming from the living room or next room.
② Adjust the usage time of shared spaces
You can reduce stress by avoiding the rush hours in the morning and evening and adjusting the times you use the living room and kitchen.
For example, if the shower or kitchen is crowded in the morning, one solution is to get up a little earlier or use them at a different time.
3) Spend more time in cafes and co-working spaces
If you want to work quietly, we recommend spending time at a nearby cafe or co-working space.
For those who work or study from home, it is ideal to combine the shared house with outdoor spaces to provide a change of pace.
Communicate with residents
Living in a share house can often reduce stress if the residents have good relationships with each other, and if problems do arise, they can often be resolved with proper communication.
① Discuss the rules to clarify them
It is important for residents to confirm basic rules with each other, such as who takes turns cleaning shared spaces and how to separate garbage.
Even if rules have already been decided, new residents may not be aware of them, so it is effective to set up a time to discuss them.
② Consult early even on small issues
If you leave it thinking "It bothers me a little, but it's okay," it will cause you a lot of stress later on.
For example, even if it is a small issue such as "I'm bothered by people talking loudly late at night," you can prevent trouble by letting them know early on.
3) Consult with the management company and ask them to propose improvements.
If there are problems that cannot be resolved between residents (noise, garbage disposal, other issues, etc.), consulting the management company may help you find an appropriate solution.
In particular, if there are residents who do not follow the house rules, there is a high chance that the issue can be resolved smoothly by having the management company give them a warning.
Make efforts to relieve stress
In order to relieve the stress of communal living, you can reduce the mental burden by being creative with how you spend your daily life.
① Go out and refresh yourself
It's easy to get stressed out if you just stay in your shared house, so make a conscious effort to make time to get outside, such as for a walk, to work in a cafe, or to go to the gym.
Going to a park with lots of nature or a relaxing space can help refresh your mind.
② Make time to relax by doing things like exercising or reading
Exercise can help relieve stress, so it's recommended that you go to the gym or try jogging or yoga.
You can also reduce stress by making time to read, watch movies, or listen to music.
3. Improve your lifestyle and take thorough care of your health
It is important to be careful not to let stress at home lead to lack of sleep or poor health.
It is important to go to bed at the same time every day and eat a balanced diet so as not to disrupt your daily rhythm.
If it doesn't suit you, consider moving.
If the problem is serious and nothing you do seems to reduce the stress, you may want to consider moving. You may find your life more comfortable if you move to a property that meets the following criteria:
① Choose a share house with a private room
To ensure privacy, we recommend choosing a share house with completely private rooms.
This reduces the frequency of use of shared spaces, allowing you to keep a distance from other residents.
2. Look for properties with fewer residents
Shared houses with a large number of people tend to cause a lot of stress in relationships, so choosing a shared house with a small number of people (around 3 to 6 people) will reduce the risk of trouble.
Before moving in, it is important to check the age group and lifestyle of the residents and choose an environment that matches your values.
3. Choose a property with strict rules and management systems
Choosing a property where the rules are clearly defined when you move in will make it easier to avoid problems later on.
You can reduce stress by choosing a shared house where a manager makes regular visits or a property run by a management company that will deal with any issues between residents.
How to choose a share house that is stress-free
To make life in a share house comfortable, it is important to choose a property that minimizes the causes of stress. If you don't get along with the other residents or the environment doesn't suit you, your daily life can become stressful. Here we will explain in detail the key points to consider when choosing a share house.
Share house room types
There are dormitory-type (shared rooms) and private room-type share houses, but the private room type is the least stressful.
① Choose a private room with sturdy doors and soundproofing.
If the door is not sturdy, sounds from the hallway or living room will echo directly, so it is ideal to choose a room with doors that have good sound insulation.
Soundproof walls and double glazing can help reduce outside noise and noise from adjacent rooms, ensuring a quiet stay.
Make sure the air conditioning and ventilation equipment is working properly, and choose an environment where you can maintain a comfortable room temperature.
② Look for an environment with few shared spaces and where privacy is respected.
In a share house with many shared spaces, you are likely to constantly be meeting someone, making it difficult to find time to yourself.
Therefore, choosing an environment where the living room or kitchen is used less frequently will make it easier to maintain distance from other residents.
We also recommend properties with multiple bathrooms and toilets, as they will not be used by multiple people at the same time, reducing the stress of having to wait in line.
Choose a share house with fewer residents
The more people living in a shared house, the more likely it is that there will be interpersonal problems.
① Smaller properties with around 4-6 people tend to cause less trouble.
In large shared houses with more than 10 people, differences in lifestyles and problems can easily arise between residents.
On the other hand, a property for small groups of 4 to 6 people allows you to enjoy the benefits of communal living while maintaining a reasonable distance.
There will be less competition for shared facilities (kitchen, bathroom, washing machine), which reduces stress.
② Choose a size that doesn't create too much closeness between residents
If the number of residents is too small, residents may become too close to each other, which can lead to stress in their relationships.
The ideal size is one that allows you to maintain a reasonable distance while still being able to communicate when necessary.
Be sure to check the atmosphere of the share house (the age range and nationality of the residents) in advance and choose an environment that suits you.
For more information on the advantages and disadvantages of different sizes of share houses, please refer to the article "How many people can live in a share house? The advantages of each size explained."
It provides detailed explanations about the characteristics of small, medium, and large groups, as well as how to choose the size that suits you.
Choose a property with clear house rules
Most stress in shared houses arises from problems caused by unclear rules, so it is important to choose a property with clear house rules.
① There are clear rules for cleaning and taking out the trash
In a shared house, issues like cleaning the common spaces and taking out the trash can often be a cause of trouble.
You can rest assured if the property has a "cleaning rotation system" or "regular cleaning is performed by a management company."
Deciding the rules for garbage disposal (sorting method and collection days) in advance can help prevent arguments between residents.
② Choose a property where the response is smooth when problems occur.
Choose a property where it is clear how disagreements between residents will be resolved.
It's a good idea to check whether the management company will mediate if a problem arises.
If there are residents who do not follow the rules of the share house, it is important to check whether the management company will take action.
Choose a share house with a well-organized management system
The quality of service provided by the management company that runs the shared house will have a big impact on how comfortable it is to live there.
① Choose a property that is regularly patrolled by a management company
Make sure the manager makes regular rounds to clean the premises and check for any violations.
In unmanaged shared houses, problems are more likely to occur and stress between residents is likely to increase.
It's also a good idea to check whether they provide comprehensive support in areas such as mail management and repair services.
② It's reassuring to have an environment where you can consult immediately when a problem occurs.
When a dispute arises between residents, how the management company responds is important.
You can live with peace of mind by checking, "Will the management company respond immediately if I contact them?"
Before moving in, it is a good idea to inquire, "How will you deal with a resident who breaks the rules?"
summary
While shared houses have benefits such as low rent and easy interaction, they also have many sources of stress, such as noise, lack of privacy, and differences in values between residents. To live comfortably, it is essential to find ways to secure your own time and communicate appropriately with other residents. You can also prevent problems by choosing a property with clear rules and a shared house with a solid management system. Find the environment that suits you and enjoy a comfortable communal life.
